Sup homies?

I’m on a diet because I’m trying to be fit as fuck for my wedding next month.

Honestly, the diet is not that fun.

The truth is that effective diets are you cooking the exact same food over and over and over again until you decide being pretty isn’t worth it.

Unfortunately, when you are trying to dial it in, there is no other way to do it than to cook basically all of your food at home.

Seriously, you can’t eat out.

Why? Because everything made by a restaurant is smothered in delicious oil.

For example, I just went to order a chicken salad from a place I like, so I pull out MyFitnessPal and find out that the salad has 270 (!) calories of oil. Unreal.

Calorie counting. Monotonous home cooking. Consistently lifting weights. All of this is in service of “being fit.”

A condition which comes with the plus side of feeding my ego, but the down side of using the bathroom more frequently than I usually do.

Seriously, all this fiber really got me going.

Like the other day, I went to the bathroom, took a shit, wiped, and stood up because I considered my business done for the morning.

Welp, one hour later, guess who’s heading back for round 2 of number 2? This guy.

Don’t mind me. Just getting ready for my wedding by participating in the renewal of bowels.

But it’s all good. I’m making great aesthetic progress.

Like as I get more fit, I can see more and more of my arm veins every day. Combine that with my proximity to Downtown SF and it has never been easier for me to be a heroin addict.

It’s weird how being “vascular” is desirable.

For one, it is a sign that you are suffering from malnutrition. So like evolutionarily it’s bizarre that we have “evolved” to find that “attractive.”

But secondly, “vascular = attractive” is body part specific.

Like having veiny arms, legs, or abs is “attractive.” That’s why you see commercials advertising how following their program will “melt off your love handles.”

But that doesn’t hold every where. Which is why you don’t see pop up ads promising you that their program will “finally allow you to shave off that last 5 pounds of stubborn dick fat.”

In fact, if you’re anything like me, your pop up ads probably say the opposite.

On to the newsletter!

LIVE: Emotions Are A Gift So Stop Being Rude And Accept Them, You Clown

A hand crafted, artisanal post by me

Following on from last week’s post, I would like to expand on sitting with emotions instead of pushing them away.

So it SUCKS to sit with my emotions.

Like to recognize I am anxious and then just sit with the anxiety is BRUTAL.

Every ounce of my being wants to pull me away from it and towards some new distraction vector.

However, once I allow myself to feel them, I come to realize that my emotions are not pesky little things disrupting my productivity, but rather they are evolution driven adaptive responses to orient me in the correct direction.

Worded differently, emotions are my body’s way of saying “yo, we got some shit going wrong down here, could you take a look?”

Now when I feel them, I have a couple options:

Work, drink, eat, shop, do drugs, listen to music/podcasts/books on tape, watch YouTube videos, or literally any other of the hundreds of easy to access distractions I love to use to escape the present moment of my own feelings.
Try to figure out why I am feeling that way.

The first choice leads to a feedback loop where I eventually end up feeling even more anxious/depressed/angry/etc than I was before.

The second choice leads to finding the root cause of the emotional discomfort.

So really “emotions” are not the problem. They are actually a signal to help me find the solution to the problem.

The purpose they serve is that very often I come upon the following discovery:

“I need to do something and that something is difficult to do.”

As I continue to not act, my body attempts to make the cost of inaction high enough that I actually do something about it.

It does this by turning up the anxiety or depression to 100 and saying “Act on this emotion or you will keep feeling like trash.”

Low and behold, when I finally do decide to act on it, not only does the emotional discomfort go away, but I am also left happier than I began.

That is why in my own life, I have come to see emotions like anxiety or depression as a gift.

Because without it, I would never find the energy to do hard things and I would instead spend my entire life keeping up with the Kardashians.

LAUGH: Short Guys Think They Are Tall Guys

Funny fact I found wading through the cesspool of the Internet

This is the real distribution of male heights.

You will notice that it is a normal distribution with the median height at 5 foot 10.

This is the distribution of what US men report when asked.

Dr. Doctor @actualdrdoctor

5’11” guys, you’re not fooling anyone, we see you rounding up

You will notice a distribution with a peculiar peak around 6 foot.

A peak explained by the phenomenon of guys who are 5’10” or 5’11” rounding up.

Short kings, stop lying.

Love, Guy in the 95th percentile

LOVE: Food Tastes Worse On An Airplane Because Of Science

Something I have been loving

This is just interesting.

Jim Pickard @PickardJE

this is the most interesting thing I’ve read today

It is crazy to think about how many things affect our eating experience.

The sound one makes a lot of sense. Like have you ever tried to enjoy yourself at a restaurant while some ambivalent couple’s child is having a breakdown at the table over?

Impossible.

CLOSING TIME

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Disclaimer: Opinions expressed are strictly my own. Who else’s would they be?

Vascularly Yours,

K.Rapp

full of krapp

[AKN #113] Emotions Are A Gift So Stop Being…