[AKN #98] I Didn’t Know What An Introvert Was Until Last Week

LAUGH: Shrekfast, LOVE: Stanford’s War On Social Life

Sup homies?

I don’t got much to greet you with today except that I think you should watch the newest season of Stranger Things.

Think this series will go down as one of the greatest series of all time along with Breaking Bad and DuckTales.

On to the newsletter!

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LIVE: I Didn’t Know What An Introvert Was Until Last Week

Sure. I understood there was a distinction between “extrovert” and “introvert”, but I honestly thought introvert was just a synonym for someone who is shy.

In reality, an introvert is someone who gets drained by social interactions. I learned that before engaging with groups of strangers, introverts will frequently have to “mentally prepare” before attending a party. They are not unfriendly nor antisocial, rather they are reserved in social situations and get recharged with alone time.

Now, I know I sound like David Attenborough narrating the habits of an other worldly species, but that’s because this is WILD to me. I have an extremely hard time understanding this concept of “being drained by social interactions” because I am an extreme extrovert.

Seriously. Like I took a Big 5 Personality Assessment and here is how I scored in the dimension of “extraversion”:

If you were one of 100 people in a room, you would be more extraverted than 99 of them and less extraverted than 0 of them.

I am legit the 1%. Which apparently comes as a shock to no one who knows me, but it does come as a shock to me.

It comes as a shock because there are plenty of times where I was too shy to speak up, opted to stand in the corner at a party, or stayed in one night. Armed with those memories, I concluded “I have an introverted streak.” But when I instead revisit those same interactions from more of a “do I feel recharged or drained” perspective, the answer changes. You see, if I am sitting there not speaking up, staying inside alone some night, or standing in the corner, MORE THAN LIKELY I AM MISERABLE.

I fucking love talking! That’s why I have a God damn newsletter about nothing. Like think about that. I literally come here every week and talk about nothing in particular. Who the fuck would do that except someone hopelessly addicted to hearing themselves talk? My default happy state is out talking to people. I get very recharged by interactions with people.

But I also enjoy my solitude. I really enjoy taking the time to sit alone, think, and write. But you know why I like that? Because I like talking to myself! I’m telling myself hilarious jokes, researching some interesting aspect of technology/science, or deep diving a Wikipedia page so I can tell an oddly specific joke which references the main antagonist from the movie The Mummy, Imhotep. Just because you are extroverted doesn't mean you want no solitude or alone time.

Also I do get drained in certain social situations. But you know why? Because there is a high likelihood I don’t like the people in the group. Whereas an introverted person might be drained by simply interacting with people. I have more of a hyper awareness of my own feelings. So I can feel when something is off and desire to leave that situation. Like if the group is a bunch of boring, unengaging people, I would rather be alone researching the filmography of Brendan Fraser. But put me in a room full of people who are interesting and engaging, I will have enough energy to make a journey to the center of the earth.

Anyway. I found actually understanding introverted vs. extroverted people to be super enlightening and I figured some of you out there might find it interesting too.

Maybe you too are sitting there like “OHHHH that’s why I hate remote work and love cities!” or saying “OHHHH that’s why Kevin constantly crosses my boundaries when I am trying to separate myself from the group to recharge!”

Either way, I hope you take a chance to stop and think about it because I think there is real power in knowing yourself.

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LAUGH: Shrekfast

This doesn’t need a caption.

sagiterrorist @HoekageEm

what’s wrong babe? you haven’t touched your shrekfast yet

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LOVE: Stanford’s War On Social Life

I enjoyed this really fascinating article on how Stanford’s administration has executed a top-to-bottom destruction of student social life.

Basically in the name of trying to derive equitable outcomes and become more inclusive, Stanford has stripped out all of the “edgy” parts of their student life.

Now, I went to Berkeley so I will start off by saying I find it hard to believe that it was possible to make Stanford more lame than it already was, but the article makes a good argument it did in fact get lamer.

Three great quotes from the piece:

• On replacing traditional, quirky housing options with equity algorithms:

In less than a decade, Stanford’s administration eviscerated a hundred years of undergraduate culture and social groups. They ended decades-old traditions. They drove student groups out of their houses. They scraped names off buildings. They went after long-established hubs of student life, like fraternities and cultural theme houses. In place of it all, Stanford erected a homogenous housing system that sorts new students into perfectly equitable groups named with letters and numbers. All social distinction is gone.

• On replacing fraternity houses with wellness centers:

Mental health is a Big Problem in our generation. About 71 percent of college students say that they are “very sad.” I wonder how many sad kids are just lonely. Our former fraternity houses have been filled with offices to help us feel better, and we are sadder and sicker than any generation before. If you are sad, Stanford has an office building with a number you can call and a series of “community conversations” about neurodiversity. But what if you are just unhappy spending your days alone, in your lettered house and numbered room?

• On our gap in language to describe a feeling of lack

We have so many words to describe the ways an institution can be problematic. It is easy to find faults, scrape crests off walls, and feel like you have done a good deed. But there are far fewer stock phrases to articulate what is lost when an organization is destroyed. There are no parties anymore. I want to live with my friends. It’s hard to name the pain of absence.

In our haste to bring a cultural reckoning to traditional structures or groups of people, have we thought this all through?

We love to destroy, dismantle, and disband, but what happens if we find out that tradition is smarter than we are?

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CLOSING TIME

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Disclaimer: Opinions expressed are strictly my own. Who else’s would they be?

Mahalo,

K.Rapp