[AKN #86] You’re Not Morally Superior For Doing It Yourself, You’re Just An Idiot
LAUGH: Two Great Jokes From This Week, LOVE: Words Which Are Not Quite The Same
I’ve been lifting weights pretty hard the last three months.
I’m on my Joe Biden grind.
You know that “Build Your Back Better” plan.
Rear Delt definition for all.
Don’t need that money earmarked for infrastructure.
Because I’m building up lats that I’m about to use to fly away and do total fucking alpha male shit wherever I please.
I’m so sick.
In going through my fitness journey this go around, I’ve been working with a personal trainer.
I’ve found it to be a great investment of doll-hairs.
I’m saving so much time simply by asking for help.
Which brings me to today’s newsletter.
On to the newsletter!
LIVE: You’re Not Morally Superior For Doing It Yourself, You’re Just An Idiot
Over the last 10 years, I’ve changed the way in which I approach achieving goals.
Namely, I’ve started paying professionals to help me achieve them.
Like let’s take a look at how younger and present me approach the goal of “lose 20 pounds.”
Younger Kevin’s Approach To Losing 20 Pounds
I began by immersing myself in diet books, popular blog posts, and sample meal plans.
From that information intake process, I cobbled together a blueprint for achieving my goals.
The plans read like a machine learning algorithm which was fed garbage pseudo-science buzzwords:
Nutrition: Follow the Slow Carb Diet…also intermittent fast…maybe consider being in ketosis!
Exercise: Do kettlebell swings 2 times a week, High Intensity Interval Training 3 times a week, and low intensity 60-min inclined walks every day.
I would come out the gate fired up and crush execution of my plan.
And you know what?
I lost 20 pounds! This actually worked!
…until it didn’t.
Inevitably, I would lose speed, relapse into my old habits, and once again find myself trying to lose 20 pounds again the following year.
Why did I lose speed and relapse?
Because what fucking planet do you live on where you can live a normal existence and be in fucking ketosis?
You just gonna eat a stick of butter at brunch with the lads?
Have you ever hung out with anyone in the history of ever?
I was such a dingleberry.
Present Day Kevin’s Approach To Losing 20 Pounds
Four months ago, I decided I wanted to “look good for my wedding in October.”
Rather than spend hours immersing myself in bro literature, I hired a coach.
He tells me:
What workouts to do
What macronutrients I should be consuming each week
I’m pretty and deserving of love on days where it gets hard
And you know what?
It works really well!
I make slow and steady progress every month.
Sure, I don’t have the eye popping numbers of the extreme diet, but this is the first time I’ve ever felt a routine was sustainable.
I’m not starving myself or doing some dumb shit like cold exposure therapy to “lose stubborn body fat.”
I simply eat a balanced meal plan, lift 4 times a week, and go on walks.
And I am SUPER confident that come October if you call me up and ask if I achieved my goals, my physique is going to greet you with its special Adele cover: “HELLO FROM THE BACK AND BI’S”
Asking For Help Is Not A Moral Failure
In some cases, it’s totally fine to DIY.
Other times, we have to realize we are wasting time trying to be the lone wolf superhero.
It’s OK to ask for help.
If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be:
You are NOT morally superior for figuring shit out on your own.
You are simply a pig headed idiot with an ego problem.
He wouldn’t listen. But it would feel cathartic to yell at him.
How about you?
What’s an area where you have paid for a coach and felt like you saved months or even years of time?
LAUGH: Two Great Jokes From This Week
LOVE: Words Which Are Not Quite The Same
For all you Grammar Nazis out there, here is a list of commonly misspelled words where the misspelling actually gives it a new meaning.
Some sicko out there is going to get a perverse amount of joy from this list.
Not like I’m better than you of course.
Like I’m a caring, empathetic person with an infinite capacity to forgive.
Nothing makes my blood boil like the following mistake:
Complement: completes something/adds features
Compliment: a nice thing to say
(I always find myself double-checking this one. Remember compLEment means to compLEte)
Read a fucking book, you imbeciles.
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Disclaimer: Opinions expressed are strictly my own. Who else’s would they be?