[AKN #114] You Have To Be A Loser For 20 Years
LAUGH: What’s Stopping You From Dressing Like This?, LOVE: Scan And Sign Documents In Notes App
Sup homies?
I’m a few weeks out from my wedding and let me tell you I’m excited for the “planning” portion of it to be over.
Absolutely stoked for the event itself, but the planning is just brutal.
You get an appreciation for the attention to detail required for events like this.
All the nitty gritty things you have to get right when you have a bunch of people show up somewhere.
But what you absolutely do not get an appreciation for is dealing with non-tech savvy wedding vendors.
Picture this. You have a bunch of vendors who you need to contact continuously.
One makes the cake. Another makes the food. Another provides the music. Etc..
So you have a TON of email threads which are opened throughout your planning process as you communicate with them back and forth.
And dear fucking God some of these people are TERRIBLE at email.
There are my classic email pet peeves like:
Not thinking through what information I would need to have before helping answer their question
Like when our rehearsal dinner venue asked me for my opinion on table arrangements without providing context about the types of tables they have or a picture of the space to be furnished…
People who call instead of email for basic questions
Sorry, but I can’t answer the phone at 2p on a Monday to tell you yes I think exactly what I wrote in my previous email.
But beyond my pet peeves, there’s even the simple things they get wrong.
Like I cannot begin to explain to you how many emails where the vendor only replies to either my fiancé or I. Never both of us. It is as if they don’t know reply all exists.
And best of all was the email exchange which happened with our cake vendor where they sent our order receipt to me and…some other woman I have never met.
The woman’s reply started cordial with a:
“Hi, I think you emailed the wrong person. I didn't order a cake. Thanks”
But it then escalated when the conversation continued with her copied and she sent a:
“Please remove me from this email”
Girl, I hear you. Cause I too can’t wait to be removed from this email.
On to the newsletter!
LIVE: You Have To Be A Loser For 20 Years
A hand crafted, artisanal post by me
Everyone in the world spends at least 20 years of their life being a loser.
The only thing you control is which 20 year block.
Like are you going to be a nerd through college and take your heaping helping of swirlies?
Or are you going to be the guy who chased high school fame and ran PS 119…but now you work as a server at Applebee’s where you get terrorized by a group of 8th graders taking advantage of the half off fully loaded potato skins after 10p?
Now some of you are sitting there thinking “actually I made it out of high school, college, and post college as a pretty cool guy.”
Well. I have some bad news for you.
You are going to be a loser old guy.
Like you will be hitting the Denny’s early bird special, your grandkids will agonize over the idea of seeing you, and you will insist on giving out Werther's Original for Halloween.
You are going to be brutal, my guy.
Why? Because you didn’t serve your 20 year sentence.
Those are just the rules.
The nerd chose to front load being a loser.
The Applebee’s waiter chose to backload being a loser.
Choice is yours.
LAUGH: What’s Stopping You From Dressing Like This?
A curated joke I found wading through the cesspool of the Internet
LOVE: Scan And Sign Documents In Notes App
Something I have been loving
This is actually super useful.
CLOSING TIME
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Disclaimer: Opinions expressed are strictly my own. Who else’s would they be?
Swear I Served My 20 Years Already,
K.Rapp